A Bouncing Baby Boy!

I have this baby boy... and his smile steals my heart. His favorite things of the moment involve his feet, his legs, his hands, and his ninja-inspired moves when he plays with his car seat toys. 

He sleeps all night, naps during the day, rarely cries, and smiles with his whole body! He's learning how to sit, and has championed tummy time like it is his full time job. 

He has down syndrome. 

My pregnancy started out normal, we had no reason to suspect anything out of the ordinary. Found out I was pregnant right before my husband deployed for the second time of our marriage. I was a little nervous, we lived in Germany and the hospital I would receive care in was a good distance from our house - let alone I also had a two-year old son to chase around! My son and I flew to the US for Christmas so I missed my normal growth ultrasound, but thought nothing of it, why should I? I had had two perfectly fine, healthy pregnancies previously. I had morning sickness, craved sour things, and oranges... I suspected we were having another boy because these were similar to my pregnancy cravings with our first boy and totally opposite from my pregnancy with my daughter. 

I thought I was even doing great, by Christmas I had only gained five pounds! That was awesome in my pregnancy book. When we returned to Germany I scheduled the ultrasound for two weeks later. At 24 weeks pregnant I found out, alone, we were having another boy. Nothing could contain my excitement as I excitedly emailed my husband in Afghanistan to call me as soon as he could. I bought blue balloons, a giant baby gift bag, and a baseball onesie with pants. I taught Joey the rest of the afternoon how to open the bag and let the balloons float out to announce the baby's sex for all the world (or at least our world) to see.

 The very. next. day. the ultrasound lab called me. There was something "not quite right" on the ultrasound, they said. They couldn't get a "clear view of the baby's right foot" and suspected he may "have a clubbed foot" because of the length of his legs when compared, and the length of his feet, or what they could see of the right foot. Clubbed foot? How in the world could my husband and I possibly have a child with a clubbed foot? What would happen? After tearfully telling my husband this (at the time) devastating news, I went to the place where I would find all I needed to know about clubbed foot: the University of Google. After reading, viewing images, and going through a box of tissue I came to the conclusion: "I will accept this no matter what, and he will get whatever care he needs to help fix or make this a liveable condition."

The OB wanted new ultrasounds, so two weeks later I went through the whole hour long process again. Except this time I paid attention. I noticed the technician focused on locating and taking pictures of his right leg (which still remained hidden) and then I noticed something else. The technician took a series of photos, more so than ever before, of his heart. His heart functioning, the chambers, the blood flowing, the sound, the beats.

That same day I saw the high-risk pregnancy doctor, he reviewed the ultrasound photos with me and explained what we were looking at.

When he got to the series of photos of his heart he said he saw a VSD, but that it could still be considered normal at this stage of the pregnancy and there was a small chance it would fully close by birth. He asked if heart problems were genetic on either side, "yes" I said. My mom had a hole in her heart that had recently been repaired. And the clubbed foot? I had an uncle that was born with a clubbed foot. He handed me a packet of information on genetic testing, and the possibility that our child may be born with a genetic abnormality. "Not possible", I told myself, "it was only hereditary, and a coincidence." My husband later agreed. Maybe it was easier to agree, he was deployed after all. In an already stressful environment, he didn't need to think home was stressed out too.

The doctor asked if I wanted amnio. It was out of the question at 26 weeks and it came with too many risks at 36 weeks pregnant, that it was not worth it to me to risk the baby's life, or the pregnancy to find out if he would be born with a genetic abnormality - besides he needed to stay inside as long as possible to hopefully correct the VSD. I elected to wait.

I left with my packet of information, information for EFMP, a tissue, instructions to count kicks more than two times a day... and sat on pins-and-needles waiting for my husband to call so I could tell him this new found information.

By the end of the night the University of Google should have charged me an admission fee.