A life changing read...

While we were at Walter Reed a life long friend of mine asked her good friend's mother (who lives in Maryland) to visit us at the hospital. Of everything that happened during this time, this one single visit was the one thing I needed... and didn't realize I needed. It was like my Mom had shown up, but in an alter form. Denise was great. She didn't ask anything of me, she didn't expect anything... she stayed as long as I needed.

She came bearing gifts. The knitted blanket hangs on a wall these days, and the book "Bloom" is well worn, and has been read by many... to include my actual Mom. For one week I spent almost every moment in the NICU, as I sat there I read "Bloom." I cried because I was sad... I cried because I was happy... I cried because I knew it could be a lot worse and I should be grateful it wasn't.

I think what I did wrong, incredibly wrong, during this time was read about Trisomy 21 and "research" everything that could possibly happen. I became so focused on Jeremy's heart, his foot, and Down syndrome... I forgot that I should focus on everything that would be great about him. I worried about surgeries, cancer, learning disabilities... everything became a statistic - 45% of this, 50% of that. It was tiring.

As I read "Bloom" two things stuck in my mind, and continue to stay at the forefront... the kissing spot and when her daughter looked at her that first time. These stay at the forefront because Jeremy has the same kissing spot - the flat spot at the bridge of his nose, and sometimes he looks at me so seriously, its like he is thinking "please love me just as much." The majority of the time he looks at me with a giant smile and it says to me that he knows just how much he is loved.

Those first few weeks were hard. Probably the most difficult things I have ever experienced were within that time. I am so thankful that I had such a good friend in Tara and that I had the chance to meet someone as wonderful as Denise.

When people ask how I dealt with a diagnosis of Down Syndrome I refer them to two things: "Bloom" and "Welcome to Holland".